Getting Started... Again

When I came up with the ideal of  "Take Care of You",  I was suppose to make changes and improvement my life however I have done the complete opposite.  It is now 2013 and I need to set goals and be held accountable for my choices.  Today I went to the doctor and as a 36 year old women stress has officially caused my body extreme damage...that is the bad news.  The good new is that I have a chance to recover.  I have a ton of medications and a lot of suggestions to follow and I plan on make changes.  How do I get through this when stress is all I know????  I guess it's time for something new including sharing with follower these struggles to get to healthy, as know as take care of you...  The goal is to start by being honest about my self to others however... that may be moving to fast.  So, I will share information with out identifying who I am, with the goal of one day coming out.  I need to face the fact I am a "fat ass."  I weighed in at my doctor's appointment a big ole... I don't think i'm ready.  Also, I now have several stress related diagnosis including daily periods, acid re flux, IBS, and high blood pressure.  Well, since I shared that much, I weigh 356lbs!!!! Yup it's true and did I forget to share they found a lump on my breast?!?!?  Well, I single and distance from family so this is who I am sharing this with and processing it for myself.  Wow, I'm exhausted after sharing all this information however feel a type of relief as well.  I hope that by sharing my feelings it will help someone else to Take care of you..

Get it Together Girl...

I'm 34 newly single and is still talking to my ex finance.  What is wrong with me... I need to move on.  No moving on with someone but just move on with my life.  My ex is 700 miles away so at least there is no way of having a 'hook up.' So being the OCD person I am I have set some new goals for myself.  They all include me being a great and successfully single women and none of them include an relationship.
 I really believe I'm afraid to fall in love.  My friend asked me is it better to lose love than to not loved at all.  I know on the movies they say lose love however I say... not loved at all!!! I mean it, love stinks.  The real true love hurts.  Why would someone want to go through that over and over again.  Not me.. I do not like to be hurt. But... There are so many good things about love.  Love has a touch, a smell, a look.  I glow when I am in love.  I'm so happy that it seems to good to be true. When I'm in love everything is positive or at least everything that comes out of my mouth.  Love does make me feel good...  So what does that mean for me?  Am I suppose to be alone cause I don't want to be in love?  I mean  I have my best buddy, my 3 year old shitu zu, but what about human companionship?  Wow, my head is spending.  I hope to work through all my thoughts on love and loving and being newly single after 8 years and lets not get on the whole baby question and childhood traumatic events, man o man... I will save that for next time. 
Well, please share your feedback and take care of you...

10/10/10 ~ Starting Over Again

For the last two years I have dreamed about 10/10/10.  I knew it would be the beginning of a new life for me.  I thought it was going to be a day with me in a white dress standing next to a man that I would spend the rest of my life with.  Well I was right about one thing, I am beginning a new life...  and I want to share my journey with you all.  In the last 40 days I left my ex fiance after begin together for 8 years moved from Brooklyn, NY Indiana and stayed with a friend.  I now have an apartment and will start my new job in two weeks.  Starting over again... 10/10/10.

Stay tuned  for more updates and Take care of you...